< PREVIOUS LETTER   ||   NEXT LETTER >
 

Dear Breakup Girl,

My best friend and I met last September. We hung out all the time at school, after school, and on weekends; we were always together. That November, we went to our neighborhood park and met three guys: two of them were 19, and we were 14. They also lived in our neighborhood, so we all started hanging out and then sneaking out, trying drugs and smoking cigarettes. They totally changed us. We went to raves and all that! We even took her dad's car.

Well, now we're not ever allowed to hang out again. I can't live without her; we were like sisters! My parents say she's a bad influence on me and there's no chance that we'll hang out anymore. How can I explain to them that it wasn't her fault? I've tried to tell them, but they don't care about the other guys, just her. HELP!

--Missing Best Bud

Dear Missing Best Bud,

It doesn't seem fair, I know, but I can guess why your parents would make your friend the fall girl. They might believe, in a "boys will be boys" sort of way, that of course the guys would be all, "Here, little girl, try this yummy pill!" But to them, your friend -- remember, your best friend, and they know it -- is the connection in between. The missing minx. The Ambassador from the Bad Girls' Bathroom. They're trying to wash out what they see as the bridge to hell.

Also -- so much for my getting to be your second-best friend -- your parents are not 100% wrong. It's not like they're saying, "We don't want you running around with them immigrants!" or "We're burning all your rock and roll LPs!" Some grownups might come from the "let her learn from her mistakes/comas/high-speed accidents" school, but no one will really argue that drugs and cigarettes and driving underage are not legitimately, objectively dangerous. Your parents want you safe, if not happy, MBB, and they're trying to keep you that way the only way they know how.

So again, again, again, as I've said above, above, above, try to set up some -- admittedly limited -- circumstances under which you can see her. Like, if you're that much like sisters, then, um, hang out in the same house. While you're there, please find non-chemical or carburetor-based ways to get your kicks. You think sneaking and smoking are what make you all "independent," but, I mean, look what happened. Your parents' love is unconditional, MBB, but at this point, their trust, you've gotta earn.

Love,
Breakup Girl

< PREVIOUS LETTER   ||   NEXT LETTER >