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Dear Breakup Girl,

I work in a supermarket, and this freak has this this thing for me. Almost every time I'm working, he comes in to buy (get this!) a trolley full of Coke. The thing is he always gets me to scan through twice as much as he can afford so that he can stand there and talk to me while I void off all the ones he can't afford. How much Coke can this guy drink? Surely by now he knows how much he can afford. I've told him I'm not interested, but he won't give up. He's trying to find out where I live, and he knows what time I start work and where I park so at the beginning of my shift he's waiting for me in the parking lot. When I'm actually in the shop and he comes in, I sometimes hide out back so he won't bother me, but he waits in the doorway for me. I swear he follows me around. How do I make the message that he has no chance any clearer? I've already told him straight out.

--Felicity

Dear Felicity,

It's probably hard to gauge his behavior when he's basically being more lame than threatening, but there are some details in here that concern me more than his math skills. This is neither a professional psychological diagnosis nor official legal advice, but my sense from what you say -- waiting in the parking lot? knowing your schedule? -- is that he's steering his cart toward obsessive. You seem to have done fine so far; experts say to be forthright and unequivocal, rather than "nice," in your "no chance" message. In other words, don't give him an inch with his receipt; he could take a yard. And by all means, of course, don't give him your address. Beyond that, is there a sturdy co-worker whom you could at least ask to keep an eye out for/on you, or bounce, even? A manager who could step in to do the voidage for you? Or -- should your gut lead you there --  someone with a badge instead of a nametag? Scan this actions and your feelings against some definitive resources, just in case; you can't afford to underestimate this one.

Love,
Breakup Girl

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