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Dear Breakup Girl,

I recently broke up with Marshall, but we still love each other and say it on the phone and when we see each other. He just says we can't actually be together because he's starting school, working, has band practice, and lives in the next town over, which is long distance to call. I really love him, and he says he loves me, too, but he said we are going to be honest with each other if we start seeing other people. Marshall came to visit me last Thursday, and we were about to leave for lunch, when my ex boyfriend from four years ago called me and asked if we could hang out. I lied to Marshall and told him it was a girlfriend. No need to worry him for no reason; I love him. But, the ex, Dusty, came over, and we hung out ALL day and fell asleep watching TV. WE REALLY DID. And he stayed the night. He even slept with his boots on. Anyway, we hung out all the next day, and my son and I watched him get a tattoo. He offered to buy me one, too, but we ended up not having time. Saturday, I cooked him dinner, and we ended up making out.

I think I like Dusty a lot, but I still love Marshall. My friends say it is stupid to wait forever for a guy that might not come around and that I should spend more time with Dusty. I really enjoy the time Dusty and I spend together, and I'm not quite sure if I feel guilty about it or not. My question is, should I tell Marshall about Dusty (who, by the way, does live in my town), or should I keep quiet? I'm really not sure what Dusty is looking to get out of our relationship, but I like how it is progressing. He even took me to where he works, which Marshall never does. Marshall takes his break and meets me at the door, never letting me in. I just don't know whether or not to tell Marshall about Dusty, especially since I'm not sure what it is exactly that I have with Dusty.

--Mandy

Dear Mandy,

Um, I'm not sure what exactly it is that you have with Marshall; for one thing, you really don't have the obligation to share everything with someone who essentially dumped you because he "must first dial a 1." I know you'd said you'd be honest, but what, you really want to know when Marshall starts seeing someone else (at his work)? Spare yourself, sweetie. I know there's leftover love there, I know. But I just do not get that this guy is going to come through for you. You've just got to make a cleaner break with him -- how about no visits for a while? -- if you want to free yourself up for something to happen with a some fine cowboy one fine day. Maybe even someone your son could see as a tattoo-ee and a dad.

Love,
Breakup Girl

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