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Dear Breakup Girl,

My question is simple. I grew up with people always making fun of me. (I have red hair, freckles and light skin.) I'm now in 9th grade and still get made fun of. I have had my share of boyfriends before, but they always seem to find someone "better" than me. The thing is, if I go somewhere, guys will stare at me but won't say anything. I don't know if I give off the wrong impression or what. My family and friends tell me all the time that I'm beautiful and that other girls are jealous of me, but I don't believe it. Is there anyway that I can have more confidence in myself or make myself believe that I am better than them and don't need to listen to them?

--Don't Know What To Think

Dear Don't Know What To Think,

Well, I'm jealous. Do you know what it costs me to have red ("red") hair? People should make fun of me.

Speaking of which, permit me to make an obvious and corny but accurate and necessary point: you are better, by definition, than anyone who makes fun of you. Period.

That said, permit me to make fun of whatever liar, liar pants on fire made up the adage "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but names can never hurt me." As if. Bones are hard; they mend. Feelings take longer to heal. In other words, no wonder you're smarting; no wonder you wrote. And actually, no wonder you "listen." Who, really, would be able to fully tune that stuff -- no matter how lame -- out? Mean words hurt, no matter what, so don't let the feel of the sting itself sap your confidence. Which you can also boost where? Well, what do you with all the time in your life that you don't have to spend at the colorist? Fill that -- if you haven't already -- with stuff that you love and / or [can learn to] kick ass at. How cool would it feel to hear people say, "Hey, Red ... damn, can she skate/play the cello/whatever!" I'd rather see snowboarding break your ankle than name-calling break your spirit. Oh. Well, you know what I mean.

Love,
Breakup Girl

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