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| September 6, 1999 CONTINUED |
e-mail to a friend in need
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NEXT LETTER > Dear Breakup Girl, I am 28 years old and on my third engagement; recently, I've been dubbed the Runaway Bride. I keep thinking that I'm getting signs that say I shouldn't be with my fiancé and begin questioning whether or not I should go through with the wedding. Part of me feels that I cause myself to continue this pattern due to an unrealistic view of romance, but part of me thinks that maybe I just haven't met the "right one" yet. Recently, my fiancé left for a one week business trip. At first I kind of missed him, but now I'm so content with being alone and the freedom that comes with it (i.e. no fights, no one asking where you're going, and no one to call when you'll be late, etc.) that I'm not looking forward to him coming home. In fact, I have been fantasizing about him getting a job out of town. It's not that I don't love him, but I'm loving being alone. As a skeptic of my own ability to choose a man (based on the past), do you think that maybe I'm with the wrong person and that if I were with the right person I would feel differently? Is it true that you know when it's the One? --Runaway Bride
Actually, I'm not sure this is a "the one" question. Or one with some obvious Runaway Bride "fear of commitment" answer. I just think you're getting engaged too quickly, too soon (ergo, too often). You're only 28; when did you start? I can't even do the math. Strikes me that for anyone else, these would have been a series of three ... relationships. And now you're having all these big revelations about Being Alone (which, to be fair, are not ill-founded) based on only a one-week separation? How did time get so sped-up in your world? What are you afraid you'll lose without that label? Yeah, to some degree it's true that you "know" (or at least decide to "know") when it's the One. But no one "knows," three times in oh, eight years. So find out what 's missing for Numero Uno before you rush to "The One" someone else. Love, < PREVIOUS LETTER || NEXT LETTER > |
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