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September 6, 1999 e-mail e-mail to a friend in need

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Well, it's Labor Day. Official last day to wear white shoes — or face the wrath — and also: official last day of summer romance. Or not. After all, we do have New Year's Eve: In Search of ... a Date to consider. I do thus worry a bit that from this day forward, people may stay in current relationships -- perhaps in particular those that go from hot summer to lukewarm -- a bit longer than they mean to. So: whether you're spending December 31 in the shadow of the Sphinx or in your flat with your cat, here's an aeons-old riddle: what do you do when the person you're dating is

Great, But...

Where do you store that fuzzy "something's missing" feeling? (Ideally, not in your "drawer" chez the person you've lined up to fill the gap.) Are you just chasing champagne kisses and caviar dreams? Is it truly your Gut saying "...But?" And what kind of an great-butt-head do you feel like for being dissatisfied by someone so "terrific?"

This question's not quite on the grand, pillared scale of The Porch Test I offer for determining the answer to "I Do ... Or Do I?" Here, we're not necessarily talking about anything massive, like marriage -- hey, we're merely talking about whether you should stay together, let's say, 'til the start of the next millennium. That's all.

Which, of course, gives us the perfect test right there. As much as Auld Lang Date pressure makes me squirm, well, let's go there: can you picture yourself smooching that person at that special stroke? Not just because your biological clock is bonging midnight, not just because you're saving your arm candy from Halloween. I mean really. If you could choose anyone to be with at that moment, with the possible exclusion of movie stars, fictional characters, or Marc Anthony (I'm working on it), would it be that person? Hey, I'm just offering you spumanti for thought, a new way to weigh this one over the next couple months (especially now that some of your fashion choices are being made for you). I mean, I'm not asking you to actually plan that night right now. And as much as I feel alone in the world sometimes, I know I'm alone in the world on that.

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