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Dear Breakup Girl,

I can't seem to make up my mind about any guys. I'm in my 30's--early 30's mind you--and have had one for-real long term relationship (one year) and an ongoing, insane two-year relationship with a hairy married man. Go figure. Anyway, there isn't a terrible shortage of men in my life but I grow confused when confronted with making any sort of decision. You know, one guy is sophisticated, Venetian, complicated, romantic, taking too long to seduce me; another is a rock-boy, pale, no-nonsense scary sexmachine; another buys me lunch, calls & faxes cute notes, makes sculptures. And yet...AND YET! I'd rather be alone. Whassup with that? Am I paying penance for some past (or current sin)? Has my Catholic upbringing destroyed any chance I have at semi-guilt free happiness? Where are all the MEN anyway?

-- b/tween girl

Dear b/tween girl,

Men, you've got. Men you LIKElike, not so much. I mean, maybe that's just it: these guys have their plusses, but right now, for whatever reason, none looks like The One. No big. Hey, it's better than going out with guys you don't like at all just 'cause you'd rather not be alone. Anyway, if you ask me, it's the married hirsuitor who's destroying any chance you have at semi-guilt-free happiness. Maybe you should make him scarce.

Love,
Breakup Girl

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