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Dear Breakup Girl,

I met my now ex-boyfriend last fall. He helped me through marching season, and I fell for him. Everything seemed to be so perfect! We went to see the movie "What Dreams May Come" and thought it was so parallel to our lives. We were soulmates! Our relationship was spiritual, and we called it platonic. But after that, something went wrong. He stopped touching me, we never kissed, and a month later, he broke up with me. I knew chasing after him would do no good, so I just tried to forget him. As soon as I did, he came back and apologized for being a jerk (said marching season meant manliness to him) and I ate up everything he said and took him back for a second chance. We said everything would work this time, and this time it lasted twice as long as the original relationship. But it was still kiss-free (despite what he said would happen) and then he dumped me again. He said all the romantic things he said were lies, and I was hurt (major understatement). Now it's a few weeks later, and I'm mostly over him. But last night, he called me and said he was afraid of loving me, and a lot of other sappy things, and he sent me song lyrics to "You Must Love Me" from Evita! I turned him away and said it would never work, but I'm already regretting that decision. If I take him back again, my friends and family will call me "Yo-Yo Girl," and I know I'd be better off if I forgot him, but things were so perfect once! I'm so happy with him, until he gets bored. Of course I can live without him, but I'm so much happier with him, when it is working. There are still things that I can only talk about with him. And I think if I could overcome my jealousy and overanalyzing situations, and he could have a longer attention span, it would work. How many chances do you give someone? Even Chris and Annie in "What Dreams May Come" almost got a divorce, so can we still be soulmates a third time around?

-- Platonic Yo-Yo Girl

Dear Yo-Yo Girl,

Yo. I have to admit I didn't see that movie (though I'm pretty sure I visited where it was filmed) -- but weren't those people both, like, dead? This whole thing -- much like a movie wherein Robin Williams and Cuba Gooding hike through Magic Rocks -- sounds very odd to me... and not all that fun for you. I mean: spiritual? Kiss-free? Marching season meant manliness? What's that about? Also, the key thing about reunions and second (third, etc.) chances is this: they are not just Please Be Kind, Rewind. They are not about "if only I / he ...". They are not about just hoping it's different next time. They are about addressing those issues and trying to figure out how to make things different next time. So if you two think you can sit down, repaint, maybe create something new, then by all means. But otherwise, Yo-Yo, it's marching season for you. Remember, the end is just the beginning. Of your next love. The earthly kind.

Love,
Breakup Girl

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