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Dear Breakup Girl,

This is probably just straight-forward displacement anxiety -- you know, obsessing about a boy when I'm unhappy at work or something, but: Lately I've been obsessing about a prof I knew in college. (Not mine.) He told me I was too young for him then, and I was. It's been 7 years since we last spoke. I'm older. I just saw his book on Amazon.com, and I'm reading it. My head is suddenly full of fantasies about contacting him and, well, starting something, regardless of the fact he lives in another state (I got his address off the net. Like I said, I'm obsessed.) The thing is, after 7 years, he could be married. He dedicated the book to a female name. Or he could think I'm still too young for him. Or I could humiliate myself by saying something stupid. Should I contact him?

-- 28-Up

Dear 28-Up,

Oh, all right. You are allowed one (1) discreet missive. Nothing X-rated. I see that, cast in a nice pink soft light, this could be the story of a love that followed a twisted path to its "meant to be" time and place.

Or it could be the story of a gal who better watch her step -- what were you doing spilling to him back in college in the first place, huh? -- and do the math. You're both older. I realize that the gap narrows as you grow, but still.

So be prepared. He may indeed be dedicated/ing to Someone Else. But it might not be a bad thing, "closure"-wise, for you to get an, um, college rejection letter in the first place. Reality check? Obsession-deflater? Let's hope, in this latter even, those would serve as a silver lining. Because, well, don't think I didn't notice how deftly you displaced the question about "displacement." If you are that "obsessed," what is [not] going on in the rest of your life? Dedicate your bad self to that.

Love,
Breakup Girl

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