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Dear Breakup Girl,

I went to a dance a few weeks ago and my buddy introduced me to his friend, Kevin. It was love at first sight! But there are a few problems:

*He doesn't go to my school

*I'm extremely shy, so forget about calling him!

I've been thinking about him ever since, but I'm too shy to tell my buddy (the one that introduced us) because I'm afraid of the guy's reaction. I guess I have a huge fear of rejection, because I've been rejected a lot lately. Please, help me get his attention (somehow!) and could you please give me some pointers on how to ask him out??

-- Michele

Dear Michele,

That is so great that you've been rejected a lot lately! Here's how come:

* When BG teaches kids to skate, she always tells them to quit worrying about falling. 'Cause if they're not falling, they're not trying. You cling safely to the boards, you learn nothing.

* Look at it this way: your skin's getting thicker, not thinner. You've had -- haven't we all -- enough experience with rejection as Part of Reality, not the end-all of your love life. Yes, I understand that it can be a little on the wearing side. But at the same time, the more run-ins you have with it, the less Significant each run-in is. The closer you can get to "Oh, well. Next!"

That said, well, if you're not going to call, you're not going to call. That's okay. But this situation just might -- although I yell at you guys all the time not to send a third party to do your dirty work -- be perfectly suited to the Buddy System. You don't have to be all, "BUDDY, I HEREBY PRONOUNCE THAT I AM IN LOVE WITH KEVIN." Why don't you just shyly hint to Buddy that you wouldn't mind if he brought Kevin along to bowling the next time, too? That's all. He shows, you bowl, you take it from there. Baby steps.

And as far as Rejection Protection goes (I'm not saying it will happen; I'm just saying!) he doesn't go to your school! Well, then, Phew. Next!

Love,
Breakup Girl

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