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May 10, 1999 e-mail e-mail to a friend in need


Mamma Mia!

Here's how cute Breakup Mom is. For Mother's Day, I bought her the soundtrack of this year's most maddeningly, outrageously underrated movie, Babe: Pig in the City. (The first Babe, just so you know, is our all-time family favorite.) I didn't buy her the video because the film, in all its brilliance, is on the tragically disturbing side; I didn't think she'd sit through it again. Turns out, when she opened her gift, she'd just come home with a copy of the video herself.

"But Breakup Mom," I said, "are you actually going to watch the movie?"

"No," she said. "I just wanted to support it."

By the way, thank you, Breakup Mom, for raising a pig with a mission.

Another brief tribute:

Down But Not Out writes that after a breakup (one that her friends didn't seem to understand) ...

"..I woke up around 4 AM today feeling like everyone was letting me down, this love might not have been real, love and life are too hard, I don't want to do them anymore, crying my eyes out. And I knew I needed to talk to someone right away, but it was the middle of the night. So I finally called my mom (she was on the East coast so it was just after 7am there). I rarely call her in times of crisis because she's pretty unstable herself, has never had a successful relationship, compares my problems to her completely unrelated problems in an effort to get me to listen to hers, etc. I usually end up playing the grownup. But she was all I had.

I could hardly talk I was sobbing so hard, and Mom listened to everything I had to say. Not only did she totally come through for me supportwise, she even said my friends were wrong about my ex. She said from what she could see, he did love me, but when it got serious he got scared and couldn't handle it. He wanted it, but couldn't deal, and that's why he drew me closer and voiced his doubts at the same time. It was a classic case of fear of intimacy. It rang so true, I knew she had hit the nail on the head. I said, how come you get this and my friends don't? She said, You know him, you know what really happened, trust yourself!

I felt so much better! Not only did he love me after all, but I could give him a break and not be so angry, which made me feel bad too. So the moral of this story is:

Sometimes parents have a lot more to offer than you think they will, even if you're all grown up. Experience really counts! And they like to be leaned on and feel needed. Even dysfunctional ones might get it together to help you."


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