< PREVIOUS LETTER   ||   NEXT LETTER >
 

Dear Breakup Girl,

Last night I finally broke up with this guy I have been seeing for the past 3 weeks. We had kind of an intense relationship, mainly sexual. I am 33 and he is 19. I did not expect to have any kind of long-term thing with him, but I am really disappointed that it didn't last longer. You see, I was his first and it was as special for me as it was for him. *sigh* But I have accepted the fact that it is over, that he is an extremely immature guy, and that it wasn't improving my life any.

The problem is, he and I work together. We both work as cashiers in a large grocery store. So we can be on the same shift, but not work anywhere near each other. But now that we're broken up, and not speaking, it feels so uncomfortable. Now don't lecture me--I know you're not supposed to get your meat where you get your bread (according to a good friend of mine), but it's too late for that. How can I alleviate the anxiety I'm going to feel when we work together now? Even if he's 10 lanes away, I can still see him, and I feel tense, anxious, sick to my stomach, and generally stressed out. And then I remember that great sex, and sitting smoking with him, and the good times in general.

I don't want to get back with him. I just want to get OVER him. PLEASE help me.

Sincerely,
Bread 'n' Meat Girl

Dear Bread 'n' Meat Girl,

Oh, that's not what I would lecture you about. Might be something about the dangers of smoking ... and all of that stuff you were doing with someone Way Too Young. Aisle 3, Creepy. But I won't, 'cause as you say, "too late."

Instead we'll talk about a different kind of timing. As in, it's been, like, one shift since you two broke up. Of course you're getting weepy by the lettuce. Your feelings are all -- much like the produce, I hope -- fresh. Raw.

So. Is there any way, just for now, that you could rejigger your schedule? So it doesn't overlap with his? Just to get through this icky period. In these situations, "turkey" should be -- much like the rest of your poultry, I hope -- "cold."

Meantime, do your best. Allow yourself to hurt. It's fine, it's normal, it's even recommended. It will get better-- if you let it -- I promise. But cross "teenagers" off your grocery list for next time. Okay?

Love,
Breakup Girl

< PREVIOUS LETTER   ||   NEXT LETTER >