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SHOUTOUT AND ABOUT

To Mayday Girl from Searching for the Same Peace:

I just read your letter and just couldn't believe it, because I'm living the same story--except that we're officially broken up and I just want to maintain a friendship. Our situation is a lot more screwed up (I'd definitely make it as the Predicament of the Week, I assure you!), but I've had the most horrible time understanding why I--who basically got the screw in my breakup--can be forgiving and move FORWARD--but the ex boyfriend has told me the same thing as yours. He needs time, he's still crazy, etc. But he's already moved in with his new relationship--a choice he made, as I've reminded him. I agree with BG--do what's right for you, but muster all the strength you have to wait this out. I'm going through it myself, and girl, I DO know how hard it is when you want to reach out--but don't let him "win" on this one!

To Screwing up a Good Thing? from Jade:

If he needs one to two years to be "ready" for marriage, I can certainly tell you that although it seems like it now, two years is really not that long. I started feeling "ready" five years ago, and every time I would start dating a really great guy, I would think "I don't know if I can wait X amount of years for this to be serious...I want to get married now." But five years have passed, and it seems like it was just the blink of an eye. Yeah, there were some endless nights when I didn't think I would survive the loneliness or envy of my blissfully wed friends. But time passes one second per second, and the things you look forward to happen eventually. Just don't spend so much time looking forward to the future that you forget to live in the present.

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