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Dear Breakup Girl,

I carpool with my co-worker/friend Roberta. My neighbor Larry doesn't drive and depends on the bus. Since we go in his general direction, if we see him waiting for the bus, we give him a ride.

The other day, as Larry and I were waiting for Roberta, Larry told me that he intended to ask Roberta for a date. Because Roberta is recently divorced and has made it quite clear that she does not want to date, I told Larry that it was not a good idea and that he should leave her alone.

Larry said ,"No, I intend to ask Roberta out!" At that point Roberta pulled up in her car. I began walking over to Roberta's car telling Larry "All right, I'm going to tell her not to take you!" Larry stood there for a second then shouted ,"I'll leave Roberta alone!" As a result we allowed him to ride and he didn't ask her out.

Do you think I acted appropiately under the circumstances? Please let me know.

-- Janice

Dear Janice,

Um, no.

You know that book called "Everything I Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten" -- ? While I think there are far too many itty bitty books of homi-lites crowding the cash register area, there is something to that particular notion. Specifically, my friend Holly once -- perhaps after tattling that a co-colorer had gone outside the lines -- got an excellent piece of advice that she carries with her to this day. It goes: "Let Holly take care of Holly."

As for you, Janice, had Larry actually asked you what you thought about his Roberta idea, you could have said something like, "Well, all I can tell you is that I do know that she's still reeling/healing from her divorce, so do with that what you will." Otherwise, Jan, steering him clear was none of your business. And actually going over to Roberta's car to tattle?! What was that?!

So you know what I'm going to say: Let Janice take care of Janice. Roberta and Larry are grownups; they'll deal. Unless what's really going on is that you'd like Larry to take care of Janice.

Love,
Breakup Girl

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