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| March 1, 1999 CONTINUED |
e-mail to a friend in need
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Dear Breakup Girl, My boyfriend and I dated for 3 years, then broke up for 1 year. We've been back together for about 6 months and things are GREAT!! Okay...so here is the catch.... There is this girl that he's been friends with since we dated in high school....nothing has ever happened between them...they have always just been friends, but she has ALWAYS had a thing for him. I can't stand this girl.....she throws herself at him....calls him ALL THE TIME! Sends him "love" letters (dirty ones!), etc.....he is honest with me about all of these things, and I know that he loves me and is only interested in her friendship....however.... About 4 weeks ago I found out that she visited him at his college (we both go to different schools)...and he never told me. (I found out by accident.....I'm sure he wouldn't have told me otherwise!) I know for A FACT that nothing happened between them, but he didn't want to tell me that she visited because he knew how I would react. I trust him and I know that he would never cheat on me, so that's not the issue. It just bothers me that he lied to me (or, in his words, didn't tell me) about her visit!! Should I be so angry? Should this kind of dishonesty tell me something about our future? And, more importantly, should I just drop it and move on? Please help!! I don't want my anger over this to ruin my relationship!!! -- Confused and Jealous
My sense is that he didn't tell you about her visit because he didn't want it to be a "there's something I need to tell you" thing; he's trying to keep the whole issue the non-issue -- heinous and tacky and maddening though it may be -- that it actually is. So if you're sure nothing's going on (which, actually, I'd believe), then drop it. After he's agreed to drop her letters to him/Playgirl Forum in the recycling bin. You have a problem only if that's a problem for him. Love, < PREVIOUS LETTER || NEXT LETTER > |
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