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Dear Breakup Girl,

I'm dating this girl online and she is quite a bit younger than I am. But you see...we are madly in love. And even though she is 14 and I am 25, I thought she was right for me. But now I am not so sure. Because I have recently had homosexual tendencies towards men at bars, I realy feel uncomfortable saying how much I love her. The other day I got my tongue pierced with this guy I've been seeing and I really felt alive for the first time. What should I do? I will be seeing her next month because I'm going to visit her. But what should I do? Should we break up?

-- Bi-Tommy

Dear Bi-Tom,

A cyberrelationship may often be advisable following a tongue-piercing, since for the time being, typing will hurt less than talking. But in this case, bottom line: she is too young. She is not even in her 20s; you are not even a Backstreet Boy. End of story.

I would tell you to back off from that one even were it not for all the other, um, studs in your life. But here's how she fits into the big picture: you are casting about, trying different things, different genders, different accessory options. All of which is totally fine ... when you're not saying "love." But you're in over your head here, and your various partners will not appreciate it. What is with with / for you and extremes? Big drama? Words like "madly" and "really felt alive?" What would happen if you met some age-appropriate person and went on some dates, complete with good conversation, flirtation, a sense of anticipation. Are you afraid that something "real" like that will never happen ... or that it will? You need to slow down and chill a little so that you can start to sort out these Heavy Life Questions. I don't care whom you date or what you pierce, but I do care about this: one at a time, please.

Love,
Breakup Girl

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