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Dear Breakup Girl,

I started dating my girlfriend about ten months ago. She was pregnant at the time but she wasn't "showing." I decided to date her because she was beautiful and hell, I couldn't get her any more pregnant. Unfortunately, I fell in love. Now, the father of the child is out of the picture and has been since day one so I fell into that role. We stayed together thru the birth of the child and I have acted as a parent to the kid. She is all but expecting a ring any time now. I don't want that and have grown tired of taking care of this child. The longer I'm with this girl the less I want to be.

I also am moving many states away pretty soon. We planned on having her and the baby move down after I got settled. That is the last thing I want right now. I just want to be free, maybe find a girl that I can treat like a girlfriend instead of like a wife. I know I put myself in this position but that doesn't mean I have to ruin my life over it.

Now I'm up against the problem of breaking it off without hurting her any more than necessary. I love her very much but I cannot be with her any more and need to clear up the fact that she is not coming with me. Help!

--Scotty

Dear Scotty,

Just for the record, dating someone who is already pregnant is not a recommended form of birth control.

That said ... well, what can I say? Yes, there's a kid involved, and also an impending move, but otherwise, this is pretty Standard Breakup. You're entitled to have fallen out of love; she's entitled to hear about it in as gentle and gracious a manner as possible. Which does not mean you will not not hurt her feelings. But yes, Scotty, you've got to make your move before she makes hers. Letting someone you no longer love move in with you is not a recommended form of hurt control.

Love,
Breakup Girl

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