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Predicament of the Week
In which Breakup Girl addresses the situation that has, this week, brought her the most (a) amusement, (b) relief that it is happening to someone else, and/or (c) proof that she could not possibly be making this stuff up.

Dear Breakup Girl,

I am writing for my precious mother...she's a cute, 60's ish working girl in a medical office, and her co-worker is the Dr.'s mistress #2 (another story). Mom's spouse started propositioning this co-worker about helping him awaken his long-dormant sex-thang,which had just been supercharged with a penile pump-thingie...needless to say she (co-worker) refused these advances and mom found out that dad did indeed e-mail her suggesstive messages. So, dad has been sucking up and professing deep regret, blah, blah, blah...but mom doesn't know why she can't stand this man on the one hand, but also can't stand the fact that dad was tryin' to whisper sweet nothings in another woman's ear. Co-worker's age is 20-something, mom and dad have been married for 30+ years -- no sex between them since 1990-something...Mom and Dad are both very experienced at button-pushing and primarily communicate with disparinging remarks toward one another...the hate-love thing... and each day my mother must work in the small office with this co-worker and is reminded daily of dad's bs...Mom blames the co-worker 'cause she talks freely about sex and lovemaking, etc. and she feels that this co-worker shares equal blame....Whew, did you get all that? Please advise how mom can move on...she is sometimes lovingly referred to as Biker G by her 5 children, as she is a strong Italian woman and is pretty tough...this problem, however, has showed a bit of her weak side. I hope I gave enough of the story. Any suggestions, Breakup Girl? Thank you for helpin' me help my mom.

-- Bionic Wolf

Dear Wolf,

Yeesh, sounds like an episode of University Hospital. Except unlike the other Spelling brats, you're a good kid.

But for anything other than for-their-own-sake TV references, we're turning you over to our very own real-life psychotherapist, Belleruth.

And she says: "Mom needs to be reminded that she does have some choices here. She can leave work or leave Dad. Ask her to ask herself: is she still in those situations because she's scared of any change? Or are they not so bad in their own way and she basically likes the status quo somehow -- or at least it has more pluses than minuses -- in which case, she can choose to stay and understand that she is making that choice, too. And, in turn, she could actually work to improve the marriage -- drag his penile-implanted butt into therapy or whatever, tell the co-worker to stifle the sex talk in her presence; or forget them and just direct her attention to something new, enlivening and gratifying, that makes her feel good about herself: an art class, a trip, a new bike... who knows?"

Love,
BR/BG

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