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Dear Breakup Girl,

I am 18, at college, and had never had a boyfriend. Not for lack of trying, but things just didn't work out. So, I come to college, and I meet a lot of really neat guys, and to my amazement, one of them thought I was more than just neat.

We met in the dinner line at the cafeteria, and traded one-liners, and sarcastic comments. I then proceeded to forget his name, and his room number. So for a month I forgot about him, then I saw him on the way to one of my classes, and invited him to be anti-social with me (neither of us are much into partying).

Well that night was date no.1 for us, the next night was date no.2 where we ended up doing some heavy necking. Fine: I had a boyfriend. I had fun with him, we could talk about anything. He also thought I was perfect (that was the impression I got), which was something entirely new to me, but VERY flattering at the time.

Then about a month later it just didn't feel right to me, I felt only friendship towards him, and apathy towards the relationship. The truth is I felt crowded; I am so used to being independent and the thought of perfection annoyed me, I know I'm not perfect, and I started to think he wasn't seeing the real me, or hearing what I was saying. So, I let him down as easily as I could, and broke up with him. I said we could be platonic friends, and I see him occasionally, but I am reluctant to do anything with as a friend until he meets some other girls.

I guess what I'm trying to ask is whether or not I'm really messed up for dumping someone who thought I was so great? The thing is, I didn't even feel that distraught, or anything at all when I broke up with him. Do I have ice water in my veins?

-- Smith

Dear Smith,

No, sweetie. Just ... room temperature. Sometimes First Love is this all-consuming ever-burning passion (see the next letter); sometimes -- as, apparently, in your case, it's just a warmup. You've been more circumspect and considerate than you realize -- and than most other people who have done this a million times. You're fine. Hottie Deux, whoever he is, should be stoked.

Love,
Breakup Girl

P.S. Hey, "Wanna be antisocial with me?" is an excellent line. No one who's reading this is allowed to write me to complain that they don't know what move to make on a fellow non-partier.

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