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Dear Breakup Girl,

Hi! I need some advice and I thought I'd write and ask you. In April I broke up with my boyfriend and I've regretted it ever since. We never talked or anything after that even though we decided that we'd still be friends and go out as friends, but that it wouldn't be the same. I thought that was how it was going to be. The night we broke up his mom called and started asking me questions about why we broke up and she gave me this sort of long lecture on how she didn't want us to breakup and get back together and breakup and get back together. She also told me that I could keep the watch he gave me for Christmas. So that was that. A couple of weeks later I saw him with his cousin and his cousin's girlfriend at a tejano show that is filmed in my town. I was so nervous when I saw him that I started shaking. When I first saw him I went the opposite of where he was. Throughout this time I met a few guys, but I never started anything with them because I would always be comparing them to my ex. Something wasn't alive in me.

A couple of weeks later his cousin's girlfriend told me that the girl that he had a little crush on while we were still together was supposed to go out with him, but stood him up. I couldn't help but be a little happy. About a month later his cousin told me that my ex had been trying to get a hold of me (we had just moved so our phone was in the process of getting disconnected; the phone number I have now is a different one) and that he wanted me to go with him to a dance, but we never went because I never called him. (Oh , I forgot to mention we went to different schools.) So that was that. About a week ago I went to a dance and I saw his parents there. I don't know if they saw me, but I saw them. I felt like I was about to throwup and I didn't know whether or not I should go up to them and say hi. I didn't go and say hi. After I saw them it just so happened that a couple of guys asked me to dance with them. So I did. I think his parents saw me.

When I got home my mom gave me a lecture on how I should have gone up them and said hi because they were probably telling him I turned my head on them. When in reality I didn't go say hi because I didn't know what to do and I'm sorry I didn't. Ever since then I've been having these weird dreams where we talk things over and we end up getting back together. I wake up thinking these dreams are true only to realize that there not. I toss and turn and have a hard time sleeping because of these dreams. I miss that full night's sleep. What should I do? Should I just give up my pride and call him so maybe these dreams will go away? It's really hard because I've had these kind of dreams since we broke up. I really truly thought I was over him. Am I? What do you think I should do? Am I dumb and stupid for not being able to handle this? I just don't know anymore. What do I do?

-- Sleepless in Texas

Dear Sleepless,

I just can't answer your questions until I get around this: his mom called you about the breakup? Is it just me, or is that, like, weird? Moms out there, correct/ground me if I'm overreacting, but doesn't this cross some sort of line? Like the one between her son's well-being, which is her business, and ... his business? Like, the same one she'll cross when she writes his college application essays for him?

Back to you, Sleepless. While we're talking about your ex's parents, I will say that it does seem that you do have some sort of relationship with them, which is nice. So if you still feel icky about appearing to snub them at the dance, write them a quick note, if you like. Say, "Hi, Mr. and Mrs. [parents of boyfriend I can't believe I dumped], I just wanted to apologize to you for not saying hello to you at the dance. It may not have been a big deal for you, but I felt rude about it, and I just wanted to explain that it was because, given what happened with [boyfriend I can't believe I dumped], I just didn't know what to say. I felt very awkward, and before I knew it, I'd missed my chance. Hope you took no offense, and I look forward to seeing you again." Just a thought.

Anyway, it sounds like you've got a classic case of I Miss My Ex-Boyfriend. This may or may not mean that you made a mistake; it means, at very least, that you lost -- temporarily or forever -- someone you love. That's hardly easy to get through without having weird dreams and getting tongue-tied around people associated with him. But really, Sleepless, you haven't done anything lame, tacky, obsessive, or particularly embarrassing as part of this whole icky separation process. You are handling it just fine; you are hardly dumb and stupid. So if you wanna call and say hi, go ahead -- you don't really need to give up your pride to do so. See how it feels. If you both feel like you'd acted hastily and wanna try again, more power to you. No matter what his Mom -- though I'm sure she's lovely -- says.

Love,
Breakup Girl

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