Love, BG

Dear BG,

I'm a thirteen-year-old who was surfing the net, looking for some "good" sites about relationships for teens. (What am I? Preteen?) So I stumbled onto yours, and I've read a couple, and you seem to give out pretty good advice.

So I know there are a lot of people who are NOT going to, I guess, take me seriously since I'm just a kid, but I'm really wondering. I mean, about boys and stuff. Don't worry, I'm not asking about whether I should, you know, do "that." I'm definitely not at that stage, and I'm satisfied with that for now. But more about... I don't know how to phrase this. Ummm... How to, like, be attractive? Eh? I dunno. I mean, not really on the outside because, well, if I want to get the guy that every girl wants, he won't care about the outside, right?

I've never had a boyfriend even though some people have "liked" me before, but because we were too shy, usually by the time we knew that the other liked the other one, we, at least I, didn't like the guy. And a guy asked me out once on the Internet, but that wasn't really anything because he pretty much asked out every other girl in our school.... Sadly, no joke.

I'm also asking because it's not really encouraging when all your girl friends are dating someone or talking about "this TOtally ceeeee-ute! guy who was, Like, TOtally, looking MY (MUAH) wa-ay" if you catch my drift.

And I don't want to be asked out just because my friends are. It's not like I want to be cool or something either. I'm just looking for some plain old good advice, I guess.

Well, I was always told I take forever to get to the point, but I guess that's my question. What do I DO???

--T.H.

P.S. Thanks a bunch for reading this. Oh, and what's your opinion about makeup and how much is too much concerning guys?

Dear T.H.,

Here is what you do:

Celebrate! You are -- since you asked -- officially no longer a pre-teen, nor, God help us, a tween.

Look in the mirror, preferably full-length. Are your bangs falling in your face -- or can a guy TOtally look you in the eye? Are you standing as straight, and walking as tall, as someone who doesn't want to just follow the crowd for the crowd's sake? Are you wearing clothes you feel comfortable showing up in, as opposed to clothes you feel good hiding in? Because yes, you smartie, "the guy that every girl wants" (margin of error: 1 Paris Hilton) "won't care about the outside." But that's once he sees you. And when I say "sees you," I mean "sees YOU." So let it be that what he sees -- someone at ease, someone laughing, someone sketching, someone wearing cute polka-dot sneakers that no one else has -- is what he gets. (Extra credit: read the letters in my Looks section. This one's a goodie.)

Totally take what your girlfriends say with a bigass gra-ain of sa-alt. It's totally normal to gauge yourself against them, and sometimes it can even be helpful. But as far as the alleged legions of boys giving them the eye, don't bother tallying. I mean, guys look around. It's what they do.

Believe that for all you know, they're looking at you, too. Hey, that shy guy was! I think you guys just weren't in sync. Soon enough, I promise, your interest in someone will outlast your fear of saying hello.

Say hello. Yeah, that's all it takes, really. I know that gaggle of girls makes it seem like there's this who le body of knowledge that you don't have, this giant test on stuff no one ever taught you. But you don't need to learn some new language, body or otherwise; you don't have to march up to someone and say, "I LIKE YOU. I MEAN, LIKELIKE." If you keep seeing that guy with the cool anime shirt, all you have to say is "Hey, cool shirt!" Maybe he's not the guy of your dreams, maybe he'll just say "Thanks!" But practice here and there, and when that boy from Cinderella Story or whatever totally looks your wa-ay, you'll just be all, "Hey."

Keep your already tip-top perspective. Boyfriends are great things to have; I recommend them. And it's totally okay to be impatient about getting one. But let me just say this for the record: you are smart and charming and adorable -- trust me! -- even without one. So really, there's nothing to do but, well, items 1-6 -- and letting the person you already are shine -- and a totally excellent boy will do more than just look. I know it might seem like whoever he is is taking forever, but hey, you said you take forever to get to the point, and it only took you like five paragraphs.

Love,
Breakup Girl

P.S. You're welcome a bunch. About guys and makeup, Dee Snider overdoes it; Boy George gets it about right. Benicio del Toro could use just a little concealer.