"Total Soap Opera!"

People often ask, "So BG, you must get questions about some crazy situations. What are the hardest ones to answer?" Could it be the exes whose parents got married? Could it be the woman whose girlfriend cheated on her with her father?

You'd think! But not really. Such predicaments are certainly verrrry nutty and juicy (much like the Fruit and Stout cake in this month's Martha Stewart). I have to say, however, that the toughest kind of question I get is "BG, I'm doing everything right. I've got smarts, wit, style, self-esteem, friends, career, interests -- everything except...a date! What gives?"

Well.

Beats the hell out of Breakup Girl.

Best I can do in response is pat your shoulders, give you a pep talk, a towel and a Gatorade, and send you back out into the ring. And wait for an update from you that begins: "Finally!"

Rest of you, meanwhile, rest assured. Especially those of you with the uber-dramas. BG can cope with your soap. And boy, do I have a sudsy bunch from you this week -- letters that make your average Predicament of the Week (which are selected just as often for poignancy as they are for, like, plot) look like an episode of Home Improvement. We are talking: twin sisters, epic betrayals, dashing villains, mistaken identities, stunning coincidences, ill-timed thunderstorms, escapes through the ventilation system, you name it.

So if, four days later, you are still in the business of being thankful, I give you this column with this reassurance: whatever your predicament, someone else's is way headier. (Unless, of course, you are a generally content and well-adjusted, though lonely, single thirtysomething.) But you should all remember that if bad TV stuff can happen to you, so, too, can the good stuff. Someday, it will feel like the world you live in is the kind where if you all of a sudden feel like dancing in the streets, everyone else will know the steps.

FIRST LETTER:
All of the special e-mails he sent to me were copied from e-mails he had sent to...them!