< PREVIOUS LETTER   ||   NEXT LETTER >
 

Dear Breakup Girl,

Here's the thing, I have a Date. (Joey Lawrence: "Whoa!"). I'm 28, and I can count the number of first dates I've had on one hand, and the number of second-dates on none!

My problem is simple: somewhere on the Y-chromosome is the gene for "Dating Ability." Well, mine's recessive.

I don't get it. I have no idea what women want/expect on a first-date. I've gone overboard, and underboard, trying to convince a woman that I'm slightly bewildered, totally oddball, but basically respectful -- and worth a second date.

I once brought a woman a single long-stem rose on our first date. By all outside appearances, she thought it was wonderful. When I called her the next day, she asked me never to give her flowers again, and gave me the Just Friends Speech. (Huh?)

So I tried a more laid-back approach on my next first date. Figured that I didn't have any real expectations, and would simply follow her lead. But I must have come across as a cold fish. Another JFS.

So, back to the present. I really want her to feel like I'm worthy of a second date. I don't want to scare her off, and I don't want to bore her away.

Should I hold her hand? Should I put my arm around her in a movie theater? Does she want/expect a goodnight kiss? If I try and she balks, will she think I'm too aggressive? If I don't try, will she think I'm too boring? Help!

-- Knee Deep in a River and Dying of Thirst

NEXT LETTER:
Part II (Knee Deep wrote us again before we had the chance to write back!)