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SHOUTOUTS

To Brad from PR Lady:

About bald guys who quote surveys about the bad lives of bald guys and anyone else who believes in statistics: I have been in public relations long enough (17 years) to spot a product-sponsored attitudinal survey (and almost all of them are!) from miles away. I'd bet money that that "researcher" was a shill for the makers of Rogaine or some other hair-oriented product. My best advice to anyone trying to fit in: Don't try to fit yourself in with some dopey survey designed to make you feel crummy enough to go out and buy a "cure" for your "ailment." You are unique. You are individual. You are not a statistic -- and especially not some phony contrived one. (You should know how these surveys are deliberately worded to yield intended results.) Just (easier said than done, I know) be happy and proud to be you.

To Rosie from Frazzlehead:

You asked if your boyfriend was "right" in insisting that people in relationships don't have other friends, and relationships don't need help.

Huge red warning lights went off in my head when I read your letter. Any guy that insists on keeping you "all to himself" and focusing all his/your emotional energy into a couplehood is scary.

Once you are isolated from the rest of the world (because you have no other relationships, so you have no other friends) -- what if things get a little dicey? What if he has a temper problem; what if he hits you; what if he's demanding and hurtful and difficult? Who will you tell? Who will be there for you to bounce things off of or who can tell you if something's a problem or if it's just a little bump in the road?

Even if you decided on your own that it's a problem, since relationships "don't need outside help," well ... I'm guessing you can see what I find scary about this.

In a healthy relationship, neither party feels like s/he has to''own' the other one or have full, complete and total exclusive rights to their attention. And, it has been my unhappy experience that guys who want that are (a) very needy (b) expect you to meet all of those needs (c) very controlling and (d) at serious risk for behaving in abusive ways. Please, Rosie, don't let anyone ever cut you off from the world around you. I let it happen, and my heart's still hurting from the way things turned out. Thanks, Breakup Girl, for letting me add my two cents.