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Shoutouts for Steve, continued...

To Steve from Jardi:

I'm going to be very blunt in what I have to say here. It is not the fact that you are balding that will keep girls from looking at you and being attracted to you. It is your sense of confidence.

Let me put it this way, I am a not unattractive girl whose last boyfriend (he broke my heart) was 24 and balding pretty darn quickly. I loved him more than anything and the hair had nothing to do with it. Or rather, it made him more endearing because I knew it was a vulnerable area in him and it made him so much more human. What I can't abide is low confidence, the need for having your ego stroked. It's tiring and exhausting to constantly have to boost an ego due to whatever reason. We all have imperfections and things we'd love to change about ourselves, but these same things we hate are exactly what makes us unique and human and so special.

So,whenever you hear that voice in your head telling you all these nasty things to think about your hair -- tell it to shut up! Then tell yourself that you are a good looking guy, that it's not all about hair, and that someone you want in your life is just not going to be so superficial that they would stay away because your hair is thinning. It really is all about confidence and the truth is that the way you feel about yourself is written all over your face and your body language. Also, if you put yourself down others will often use the same excuse to put you down, or pointing out these imperfections/complaints (I'm fat, I'm balding, I've got a large butt....)will draw attention to what a person didn't see or wasn't bothered by before.

To Steve from Change of Heart:

Bald is gorgeous! When I was younger, only long-haired men would turn my head. Then my (receding hairline) current boyfriend, while at his best friend's birthday party, has an epiphany and decides to shave his head. So he sequesterd himself in the bathroom with a newly met BBC man (Bald By Choice) and shaved his head. Then came up and surprised me! Well, at first I admit, I was shocked and not necessarily in a good way. However, that has definately changed! I love it! Especially right after he shaves. I notice bald men now. I guarantee you would probably turn my head and I know I am not the only one!

Followup to Self-Esteem / Do Tell column from Plushie:

Ooh, self esteem. I could talk about that. I was very insecure with myself when I was with my first boyfriend, I never had a boyfriend before him, never had sex before him, never fell in love before him, and I felt that I didn't measure up to his expectations of a "girlfriend." If he didn't tell me seventeen times a day that he loved me, I thought he didn't, and that he wanted to break up with me. Which, eventually, he did. But I found out afterward that it wasn't that he didn't love me -- it was my negative attitude that he couldn't take...He thought I was amazing, beautiful, intelligent and sexy, but I didn't believe it myself, and my own low self-esteem simply pushed him away. Since then I've noticed that it's all about how you perceive yourself -- when you believe you're a fabulous, sexy, attractive person, others see you that way too.

 
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