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Dear Breakup Girl,

I love my boyfriend very much, and we have been dating for four years now. Is it wrong of me to be unwilling to marry him because of his financial status? I am not looking for money; I just think a person should be able to take care of himself financially. I have a good job and comfortable future retirement benefit; I also own a house and a rental. I am 51 years old. My boyfriend is 60 years old. He cashed out his retirement fund and invested into a business seven years ago and lost all of it. He is making good money right now ($60,000/year), and he plans to work for another ten years and save about $10,000 a year. I calculated this with the most aggressive return and social security check. It barely comes out to $2500 a month. I feel bad that I'm letting money be the issue here. But I worked very hard all my life. Part of me wants to forget about money and follow my heart. The other part of me hesitates to go forward. What do you think ? Am I too conservative?

–Marilyn

Dear Marilyn,

Sure, a person should be able to take care of him/herself financially, and sure, you're within your right to want to be partners with someone who – like you – can. But, um, far as I can tell, indeed he can. So – keeping in mind that money can be an Issue no matter how much there is to go around –  if you want a bigger nest egg, then put your heads together about some wise and aggressive investments. Or is there something else missing? If you do want to – be honest – marry For Money, maybe he's not your guy. If you do want to get married, but are getting cold feet about spare change, maybe he's not your guy. If you do want to marry this guy – like, Porch Test want– and you lose him over this, then your heart will laugh at you all the way to the bank. You do the math.

Love,
Breakup Girl

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