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SHOUTOUTS

To And from NJ and BG from Trina:

I have to put in my two cents on the Three Not So Little Words. I am a woman who has choked/not responded at least twice when men have said those words to me. I wasn't ready, and I didn't say them back. In both cases, I thought affectionate nonverbal gestures were the best/fairest way to respond. (The unspoken message in my head being, "Yes, I like you a lot. No, I'm not ready to go there yet.") In both cases, it never happened. I do not regret my judgment in those instances. And I am also a woman who made her current boyfriend's day (possibly month and year, judging by the reaction) by saying "I love you" first. He told me that it was a relief to him not to be the one initiating the use of the phrase. And now we both say it a lot, cheerfully. Just felt a need to remind us all again that life busts as many stereotypes as it reinforces. Thanks.

To Vivian from Lisa:

As a person who's had a best friend virtually cut me off when she found her husband-to-be, I always hear alarm bells when people in relationships complain that their best friends are acting out. Not that it's impossible that Vivian's friend IS being unreasonable-- that may very well be the case -- but I just want to urge Vivian to examine what's happened to the friendship since she found the man of her dreams. Does she spend time with her best friend? Does she make sure that she doesn't let her romantic relationship keep her from being an awesome best friend? It can be tricky in that new blush of love to pay attention to friendships, but trust me, you'll be sorry if you don't. My MIA best friend is no longer in meaningful touch with her old friends, unless they're in couples and can do "couple" things, and I occasionally get the feeling she's sorry she's lost touch with everyone, but doesn't know how to fix it. It doesn't have to be that way -- all my other friends who've gotten married have done a kick-ass job of keeping active girl time. And kudos to you BG, for reminding all of us that our friends need to be a priority!

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