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Dear Breakup Girl,

I just have one simple problem: I want my pictures back! I gave my ex-boyfriend a lot of pictures of me when I was a kid. They are very nice and now he's got them, and I want them back! I just don't know how to ask him to give them back to me; I feel uncomfortable. Gifts aren't supposed to be asked for back, right? So, what should I do? I just know that next time I'll Xerox them and give my boyfriend a copy!

--Lucille

Dear Lucille,

Technically, you're right. You give, you don't get back. But that rule is more logically applied to, say, Sega Dreamcast. By contrast -- and with all due respect -- it's less clear what use, other than religious, he'll have for your baby pictures. So you're within your right to send a brief and kind note ("This may be slightly tacky, but could I trouble you to return those kid photos of mine? Sentimental value, yadda yadda. I hope you understand. Thank you.") Enclose a SASE to avoid inconvenience/delay/The Stamp Excuse. But be forewarned of this pitfall: he might not come through, for whatever reason (mean? lame? whatever). In this event, you are allowed one phone call/e-mail. And the vague wish that you'd Xeroxed the letter and given your lawyer a copy.

Love,
Breakup Girl

PS Pretty much the same advice goes to Lynn and her engraved gift.

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