Happy Holidays:
True Friends & Family Antidotes
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Recasting Your Holidays

By swapping friends for family, other traditional holiday events could also be transformed from only-at-guilt-point events into actual fun. Invite those friends and friends of friends over for a gingerbread house warming party. Don some beer hats and head out for a night of carol playing.

Go find out who's been naughty or nice with a visit on the knee of the nearest mall Santa. Take a parade of cars out to get Christmas Trees. Volunteer at your favorite charities. Build a snowman -- unseasoned Westcostians can head to the beach and erect a sandman. String an obscene number of lights around your friends' houses. (BONUS: Wait til they're out of town... surprise!)

Santa's Got a Brand New Bag

Of course if ye olde yuletide events are too kitschy for you (or, more likely, your family has already claimed them), you and your friends might have to invent your own, unique holiday traditions....

X-Mas Party
Have all your friends bring their most highly recommended exes (perfect for anyone else besides themselves)! Serve Dos Equis! Dance to the seminal music of X! Give out prizes (X-Men action figures? Tapes of early X-Files episodes?) found with X-marks-the-spot treasure maps! Party to the X-treme!

Chanukah Countdown
Jewish? Not Jewish? Whatever! Who doesn't love the idea of eight straight days of hot movie action? Dim the lights (well, not all of them), pop the corn, and roll out the barrel with "Hard Eight." Follow that up the next night with "Magnificent Seven." Then "The Sixth Sense," "Fifth Element," "Four Weddings and a Funeral," "Three Kings," and "Breakin' 2: Electric Boogaloo." Finish things off with something nice and upbeat, like "One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest" or "One-Eyed Jacks." Or just pick flicks you like better.

The Big Kiss Off
With mistletoe in every doorway, this is the adult version of a makeout party. Serve chocolate kisses, tongue sandwiches, and french fries. Set up a kissing booth, wear your favorite "Kiss the Chef" apron, rock and roll all night with the musical stylings of Kiss. And don't forget to seal those invites with lipstick smacks.

White (Christmas/Chanukah/Kwanzaa) Elephant Party
Re-wrap those super-dud gifts and saddle your friends with them. After all, misery loves company. (Misery and Company, sitting in a tree, k-i-s-s-i-n-g!) Then save whatever new albatross you wind up until next year, when it'll be the ideal gift for the person who gave you this year's lemon.

Libation Migration
Inspired by the pub crawl, this is a fantastigreat event for those of you with friends who live within walking distance. Start with mulled wine at your house, move on to the next place for cider, then end the night with frothy eggnogs at someone else's pad (because when the barfing begins, you'll want them as far from your house as possible).

You Say You Want a Resolution?
The evening starts off as an ode to vices: Everyone is heartily encouraged to indulge in their worst habits. But at midnight, you all put up $20 and share your resolutions for the year to come -- to quit smoking, join (and actually go to) a gym, stop gossiping, whatever. Whoever sticks to their resolutions the longest wins the pot at next year's party.

Finally, this year, you can have what you really want. Sparkly lights, tasty beverages, and witty banter with someone who just might be God's gift to... you. Smile through your grandmother's badly candied yams knowing that friendship and flirtation are just around the corner (three friend events per exposure to the relatives is the ideal ratio).

And, with some careful family planning, you just may make it to the new year after all.

Evany Thomas, whether stuffing turkeys or stockings, is the very picture of holiday cheer. Last time out, she wrote about the almighty cup of coffee.

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