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Breakup Girl presents:

Me? Still no plans for the 31st. (You still think I'm kidding.) Relax, you're thinking, didn't you see the recent Time magazine cover story, BG? It's all about The Simple New Year's Eve -- how everyone's saying no to the hype and opting for a quiet, meaningful evening.

Ah.

So first the fete just had to be schmaltzy and...sphinxy. Now it has to be meaningful?

Oy.

(While I'm on the subject, just a side note to "creatives" at ad agencies: Y2K Hype and "Over the Y2K Hype!" Hype are the same thing. Blair Witch parody parodies. How many "post"s do we need to put before "-modern" now?)

In any case, I'm Y2K-ready in all other ways. Or getting there. I mean, when do I not have extra cans of bisque and Cafe Bustelo in the pantry? (And, of course, this site has always been Made With a Mac.) But I'm also devoting the next couple of weeks -- especially as we labor in the bunker to build the soon-to-come breakupgirl 3.0! -- I'm devoting the next couple of weeks to the opposite of hoarding: eschewing my usual opening themes in this column so as to get right to as many of your letters as possible. I mean, you think all those computers have dating problems?! I've got to fix all of yours, pronto!

So start stockpiling Clif bars and Evian and maybe even printing these columns out for safekeeping. Just think: next year, Kevin Costner may have to deliver them directly to your door.

[I know the letters are all from women this week. Just the way things shook down. It doesn't "mean" anything. -- BG]

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