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Dear Breakup Girl,

I am getting married in two weeks, and lately I've become this emotional freak. I love this guy, I know I want to spend the rest of my life with him, and I know he loves me. But lately, I've been getting these panic attacks, and every time I run an errand for the wedding, I am morbidly overcome with what-if- I-got-into-an-accident- and-died? thoughts. Hmm, you can just see the small-town headlines. And I'm torturing my fiance with questions of "Do you really love me?" and "You do know that this is a ceremony marking the rest of our lives, not just a big party, right?" I think I'm also freaking because I've broken off two engagements before (but they never got this far along and ended for very good and healthy reasons). Do all brides get like this? Or have I just built this whole wedding stuff up in my mind over the years so that, now that it's here, I can't deal with it? I think I'm going to call the doctor and see if he can't prescribe something for me.

--Emotional Wreck Bride

Dear EWB,

I'll bet you something borrowed that right now, being someone blue is nothing new. I'm sure all my married friends freaked out (see, they went through with it); why, Sassy Miz M even confessed on these pages that she had a "sh*tfit at the BBQ the night before [her] wedding because the BROWNIES WERE NOT PROPERLY SET OUT." And that was on her first attempt -- you've got this always-the-runaway-bride thing to run away from. No pressure! So yeah, no wonder you're doing the "death do you part" before anyone's gathered here together. I'm sure it's hard to hear your gut clearly when it's bound beyond recognition into a "foundation garment," but I'm fairly sure it's saying nothing more complicated than, "QWERTYUIOP!!!! ASDFGHJKL!!!! MUST ALIGN BROWNIES! " Etc. So know that it's normal for you to be the Freak of Bridenstein, and do be judicious about any marriage meds you might take (look what happened to Samantha's sister), seriously. But do look both ways before you cross.

Love,
Breakup Girl

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