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Dear Breakup Girl,

I have been dating a guy for 2 months. We'll name him Superman. I really care about him and think that we could have a future if I deal with my issues with him. How do I approach his bad taste without coming down on him?

He's sensitive and snippy sometimes, but I think I'm going to explode if I don't tell him soon! I don't want to change anyone. Why can't he just be perfect without my help? I don't like his George Michael hair cut (from his Wham days), big necklaces, or pointy dress shoes (meant for suits). He stands with an arrogant attitude. (He is very nice, just quiet and gives off the wrong impression.) He rolls his work and T-shirt sleeves and leaves his work shirt unbuttoned a few to show off his chain. He irons everything (T-shirts and work shirts, too, though they are spattered with ink because he's a press operator). You should see him get all pretty for work. He irons his jeans! I feel so nit picky. I know I'm kind of a slob and should learn some of his neat habits .. but man.

He is really cool, and I am crazy about him. He is very good looking and, for the most part, dresses great. He is so good and sweet to me. He's a good person with a big heart. He's very affectionate and puts me first. We get along great and miss each other so much when apart (don't gag). It's just that I'm not so flashy. I am very down to earth. Yes, I like to get noticed, but I like subtle things not like Superman's jewelry which screams LOOK AT ME! He wears tennis shoes and baseball caps during the week and is pretty laid back, but he always wears ALL the jewelry.

He has a routine for dressing (I notice because I have to wait for him to get ready as I'm always ready first): 4 earrings (2 big fat hoops in each ear), a thick gold chain or chunky silver chain link necklace (and he looks at himself in the mirror as he puts it on with his "I'm a stud face"), a big huge watch, and a bracelet on the opposite wrist. He even wears either all gold or all silver. (Men don't know to do that.) His watches are $700 each, and he has a gold one and a silver one. If he wears gold, then he wears his glasses. He says he has to get a silver pair of glasses to wear with his silver jewelry.

RINGS! I forgot about the %@&$ RINGS! They're gold with diamonds. I think he wears those with all metals, one on each hand.

Do I dump him now (or after Christmas)? I can't afford his taste for Christmas. Just kidding; I'm just not used to dating a guy who is prettier than I.

--Wonder Woman

Dear Wonder Woman,

Normally, I might say your concerns were founded. Last person I met who ironed jeans turned out to be an evil demon beast from the underworld. Well, she was Buffy's new roommate, so she was in fact an evil demon beast from the underworld, but I think I've made my point.

But if if if everything you say in your third paragraph is true, then don't you dare dump him. Since your swanky inky man does seem so dealbreaker-different from you, what got you to this point with him in the first place? You are neither moth nor porpoise; in this relationship, I'm going to trust that you've been drawn to something other than bright lights and shiny objects. So if one day this guy started to buy $700 watches instead of, say, baby formula, I'd say it was time to put your scuffed sneaker down. But in the meantime, I'm gonna have to say "...warts and all," kid, warts and all. Um, really really sparkly warts.

Love,
Breakup Girl

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