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Dear Breakup Girl,

I'm 18 years old and am in a very nice relationship with a guy. The only problem is my dad. He still sees me as his little girl. He doesn't let me out of the house alone except to go to college everyday. He didn't let me dorm because I wouldn't have been home with him, and he told me that if I went away, he would disown me. He doesn't want me to be in any relationships or date until I go to college. He's very strict and old fashioned. I understand why he is so protective of his only girl, but sometimes it eats me up inside that I have to lie to him constantly. I want my boyfriend to be more involved in my life, and I know he wants to as well; I want to be able to go out with him and not sneak around; I want to be able to introduce him to my dad.

I just don't know how to because I'm afraid of his reaction. What should I do?

-- Viudez

Dear Viudez,

Younger kids construct all sorts of pro-freedom arguments like: "Well, Ma & Pa, if I never get the chance to go out and dent your Porsche, how will I learn how not to drive?" But if you're not getting practice fending for yourself and dealing with daily eighteen-year-old stuff, then in an ironic sense, he's actually creating the kind of situation where his worst nightmare (not about a sportscar, but it does begin with P) could actually come to pass.

Now. If Someone Else's Mom Belleruth and I may hazard a guess, does your dad perhaps come from a pro-chaperone foreign culture? Also, kiddo, where's mom? Is she, perhaps similarly, from a pro-Dad-Rules culture? No matter what, Belleruth suggests, "you need to find an ally of your father's age and culture who's sensitive to your dilemma and who can help mediate this one for you ... perhaps by gently reasoning that if he doesn't give you at least a somewhat longer leash, he may lose you altogether." Have faith, Viudez, that you won't have enter widowhood before marriage. Or even college.

Love,
Breakup Girl

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