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Dear Breakup Girl,

I met this guy on a blind date and knew it wasn't meant to be. I was happy and content that he was gone forever after that one date. Two weeks went by, then one day out of the clear blue he calls, and asks me out. I figured I had made a snap judgment before so I went. Well, one thing led to the next and now we are like that nasty thing called "a couple." I have learned a ton about this guy and he is a great guy but he's just not for me. And for some reason he likes me tons, I don't know why. I never was really on the "market" so I am annoyed that I have been purchased, bagged and an now on a shelf in someone else's home. I don't want anything too serious, in fact, after all the experiences of this four-week mock relationship, I just want to be happy, single and average.

So my question after all that babbling is this: How do I break up with out being a jerk.? This is so not my territory and I know not what to do. I mean, isn't breaking up with someone like the biggest diss you can give? I don't know. Oh, and another thing: he is really annoying at times. My friends don't like him, he doesn't care how he looks, not that I am Miss Fashion, but I do appreciate common fashion sense. He has the most pathetic loud stupid laugh. We just got back from a date, we watched Blue Streak --not that great of a movie, by the way -- and every time something remotely funny would happen he would let out this bellow like a cow. And he is stupid. I love to get good grades and thrive on knowledge. He has never seen a 4.0 in his life (ya know, back in high school). And he thinks "simplicity" is a big word. What should I do? I lack courage to tell someone to their face that I don't like them or their stupid habits. I am afraid to hurt him.

-- Jen

Dear Jen,

BG is always in favor of giving people second chances/dates. But "one thing led to the next?" In that context, it's usually "next" as in "morning," not "four weeks." Jen, "The One" should not be as in "...who called." Otherwise you'd be asking me how to work through superficial differences of taste in fashion and Martin Lawrence -- not citing them as unconvincing reasons why you're trapped and miserable in a loveless hell.

How to get out? Simple as this: if you don't want to be a jerk to someone, don't be a jerk; don't tell him he's a dumb mooing dork, tell him you're totally sorry, but things just aren't working out. And Jen? If you do not like someone at all, do not keep dating them. That's all there is. Huh. Guess "simplicity" was a big word for you, too.

Love,
Breakup Girl

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