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Predicament of the Week
In which Breakup Girl addresses the situation that has, this week, brought her the most (a) amusement, (b) relief that it is happening to someone else, and/or (c) proof that she could not possibly be making this stuff up.

Dear Breakup Gurrl,

OK. so I have these problems. their names are Patrick and Preston. lemme just give ya a lil background info on both of em.

PATRICK: is this really gorgeous football playa @ my school. now I think he's totally beautiful but kinda a jerk. OK, really a jerk sumtimes but other times he's a really fun guy. i also think he's hella cool cus he's really unpredictable. well...we went out at tha beginning of last school year for like a cupla months but i broke up with him because i didn't want a boyfriend @ that moment. this broke his heart. (or so everyone...including him...tell me.) well, we didn't talk hardly @ all after that but he still really liked me. i, unfortunately, couldn't return tha feelings. then, @ a party about a month ago, he came up to me (out of tha blue) and just struck up a convo with me and totally acted like he liked me. this was cool with me tho cuz i had recently decided i liked him and had been thinkin about him a lot. tha prob was that he was slightly drunk, but not so much that he wasn't aware of wut he was sayin. to this day he says he meant everything he saud that nite. so we've been talkin 4 about a month, which is kinda ok.

OK. PRESTON: wow. preston is this incredibly sweet, passionate, caring guy. i guess u could call him tha "perfect" boyfriend. we went out for a cupla months also. we broke up tha day school ended this year, like, two months ago, cuz he was just too real...too perfect, ya know? i'm so used to complete jerks that on tha rare occasion when i get a good guy, i freak and don't know how to hold on to em. i'm so used to defending myself (emotionally) that i can't take tha loving, sincerity of a good guy.

WELL my real problem is this...preston and i have been talkin for like tha past month. he called me and told me how much he still cared for me and all and i just can't resist, but yet ialso want to push it away @ tha same time. now call me shallow but I'd rather go with patrick because I'm a cheerleader...he's a football playa...and i'm not scared of hurting him because i don't honestly thinks he cares 4 me tha way preston does. now i think i mite love preston...but i don't want to go with him because i don't wanna hurt him again. i care 4 him too much to make him hurt tha way i did b4. So wut do i do, bg gurl? i know i'm one big twisted sistah so PLEASE HELP ASAP!!

-- gemini wunder

dear gemini wunder,

well gurl, i mite go ahead and call ya shallow.

i know how hella cool it feels to date the quarterback. but (1) "hes a football playa" and (2) "i dont honestly think he cares for me" ... are two *twisted* reasons to go out w/ someone.

gemini, if ya dont LIKElike preston for who he is, fine, whateva. but how did u get so "used to complete jerks?" is it cuz you call yourself "shallow?" and so u figure that your boyfriends have 2 B shallow 2?

well, whoeva the next guy is, i hope you spend tha next cupla months not defending yourself, but cheering 4 yourself.

god, i feel like a big dork.

love,
bg gurl

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