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Dear Breakup Girl,

Okay, I'm 15 and not a virgin but my mom thinks that I am. But I told her 1 1/2 months ago that I was ready to have sex and she told me that she would get me on birth control ASAP but.....here it is a month later and she hasn't yet. What should I do? Tell her I'm not a virgin or just leave it as is and just get on birth control acting like I'm still a virgin? I know if I tell her that I had sex before I got on birth control she will be furious. But if I don't say anything to her she will never know.

-- Selena

Dear Selena,

Well, see, if you tell Breakup Girl you had sex before you got on birth control, SHE will be furious. Breakup Girl is also not all that happy that you had sex before you even got, well, your driver's license, or your voting card, or your diploma. But let's focus on the birth control, because superheros are not always more powerful than hormones. (Then again, this superhero is pretty sure that high school sex is as much about pressure as it is about lust. But anyway.) There's no delicate, clever way to say this: QUIT IT. There's no delicate, clever way to say this: having sex without birth control is just about the dumbestass thing you could possibly do. I know condoms are awkward; I know all the other devices are weird and mysterious. But you think Mom will be pissed that you jumped the gun? Try telling her you're pregnant. Or that you have a permanent infection. Or incurable disease.

So what to do? Well, I do think -- at very least -- that it's great that you could start this conversation with Mom in the first place. So start it again. You don't have to disclose the past; just make like you're planning for the near -- VERY NEAR, OKAY? -- future. Find out her schedule and make an appointment at a clinic. Then score a few moments of Mom-free time with the doctor there, tell the whole truth, and follow his/her recommendations. If you can't get your mom to commit to a date, then go with a friend. And maybe ask Mom if she's so weirded out by the thought of her "little girl" having sex that she's having trouble making good on her word. But once again, quit protecting yourself from Mom and start protecting yourself from the really scary stuff.

Love,
Breakup Girl

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