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Dear Breakup Girl,

I started dating this guy almost a week ago, and, well, I don't know if he likes me enough to have that role as boyfriend/girlfriend. Sometimes I wonder if he is avoiding me. See, we never dated anyone. I am his first as he is mine. I'm overweight and, well, he isn't exactly Mr. Popular, which I'm glad. We are going to Sadie Hawkins and it's a month away. I don't want anything to happen before then. But then again I don't want to be used. Thanks.

-- Torrie

Dear Torrie,

Hey, kiddo, it's been one week since you started dating (whatever that means in this context). And it's been one lifetime since you've been dating anyone. So, even though a large part of dating is "doin' what comes naturally," another large part is having no clue what's going on, even for people who've been doing this for years. You, you see, have got nothing against which to calibrate your cutie. Is he "avoiding you," or ... "obeying curfew?" Is he "avoiding you," or ... "being just as nervous as you are?"

Which is: pretty darn nervous. Look, Torrie, even people who could borrow Sarah Michelle Gellar's overalls get that "do they really like me?" feeling, I promise. So imagine how anxious someone who doesn't have that -- kinda flimsy -- security blanket would feel! This is pretty standard Monica-interview stuff, but I'll bet you haven't figured out that you -- all of you -- are worthy of a spiffy Mr. Partner, popular or not (Popular and Worthwhile are unrelated, anyway). I'm guessing that that, apart from anything he's actually doing or not doing, is making you second-guess everything. So try just to hang in there and hang out and enjoy, minus the timing and measuring and analyzing and interpreting. Try.

Also notice this: you're doing better than you think. I mean: Sadie Hawkins, huh? So you asked him. Pretty Buffy, if you ask me.

Love,
Breakup Girl

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