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Dear Breakup Girl,
I'm in the 11th grade. My boyfriend and I have been going out for nine
months. I guess I never really liked him, but because I was desperate for a
boyfriend I went out with him. He's really nice to me, we go someplace nice
once a week at least and he always pays for everything. But I'm not the least
bit physically attracted to him. After about six months he started telling me
how much he loves me, and would wait for me to reply. Because of his pressuring
me for a reply I told him I loved him too. But I don't. Also things have gone
pretty far between us, not exactly sex, but close. He constantly wants to know
where I am and what I'm doing. For example, I have caller ID and when I'll see
his name on the display I usually won't pick up. He''l keep calling and
calling. If I tell him I'll be home at a certain time and I'm not he'll get
mad. Also when I don't want to do something with him or get mad at him, he'll
start crying. I know for my own sanity I need to break up with him but I don't
know how, especially after all this time. Can you please help me?
-- Rhonda
Dear Rhonda,
Yes, I can help you, Rhonda, help help you Rhonda.
First let's get something straight. I know you know this -- and I SO know the
pressure -- but "desperate for a boyfriend" is not a love song.
Let's, you guys, try not to dance to it with the wrong partner.
That said, Rhonda, you are not responsible for his
ensuing behavior. Which -- as you sense -- is out of line, over the top. And I
know that you know what you need to do.
But let me just make something perfectly clear to you:
if you go through with this, he might have a cow. If he keeps calling and
calling now when you're not there, imagine how often he'll call when
you're not ... his girlfriend. Be careful. Let a trusted grownup know what
you're up to before you do it, okay, sweetie?
And just as important, remember this for the future:
"calling and calling and calling and pressuring and crying" is not a
love song either. That's just not what love is. Please don't hear it that way
next time.
Love,
Breakup Girl
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