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December 28, 1998   CONTINUED e-mail e-mail to a friend in need


Dear Breakup Girl,

I am seeing a guy who separated from his wife three months ago. They have a child together. He spent Christmas Eve and all day with their son and her family. We got together later in the day. Is this normal? Should I be pissed off? I'm new at this and don't know how to react. What do you think?

-- Marcia

Dear Marcia,

If you had written that he had spent Christmas Eve with his ex-wife in the Santa's Adult Toy Workshop Suite at some lodge in the Poconos, then yes, you two might want to talk. But Marcia, he has a kid. My guess is that he was doing what he could to make that kid's Christmas suck a little less. This particular thing, at this particular time, is no cause for alarm.

Plus, Marcia, it's been only three months, which means (I assume) that you've been seeing him for even less time than that. Too early to get territorial. Also, keep in mind that Christmas is Christmas, not real life. I mean, I don't know about you, but I don't wake up every morning with gifts piled under my houseplants and Jack Frost nipping at my nose. More likely than not, it was a no-brainer for him to split his time on the 25th. The real question is: how will he balance his new partridge and his two turtledoves after these twelve days? And how will you react? I'm not saying anything's inherently wrong, but I am saying, since you are new at this, that it's going to get more complicated before it gets easier. Be prepared. If, by Groundhog Day, you're still seeing dark shadows, write me back.

Breakup Girl



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