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A THANKLESS JOB.

Dear Breakup Girl,

When I was 14 I started going out with one of my brothers' friends, who was 17. We were together on and off for two years and I still love him more than anything even though we've been broken up for almost two years. Before we got together he had a drug problem which I did not know the severity of but the entire time we were together he was clean except for smoking a little pot here and there. The past year has been rough and he's fallen into the wrong crowd now he's become a full-fledged coke head. He keeps disappearing and no one even knows if he's ok. Last time I saw him which was a few weeks ago he told me he hated his life & he wanted help to get better. Needless to say 2 days later he borrowed money from my neighbor and hasn't been seen since. I really want to help him but I don't know what to do. If he does reappear he will be going to jail for 8 months for violating probation for some stupid non-drug related mistakes. This sucks and I don't know what else to do. If you could please give me any ideas I would truly be grateful. I lost my father to drugs and I'll be damned if I'm gonna lose him too.

-- Tracy

Dear Tracy,

What a maddening, saddening situation. Here's what official BG.com Expert Belleruth had to say about it: "Unfortunately, you are not in charge of whether this guy is lost to drugs -- nor should you be. That is a thankless job that mostly ends in failure. Though of course, it's completely understandable that you'd feel this way, given that you couldn't save your dad. Please don't try to 'make up for' that situation by trying to fix this one. Definitely say a prayer or three for this guy, but try your best to turn your attention to some friends who appreciate what you have and want to give." Good luck, kiddo.

Love,
Breakup Girl

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