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JUST ONE MORE PARTICULARLY GOOD SHOUT OUT

From Jo: "A couple of comments on your bifurcated Predicament of the Week last week. First, will you please tell El Duderino in Malaysia that he can, nay, should be able to paint, write reams of creative and liana-encrusted prose, stand on his balcony and dream, and just generally indulge in creative expression *without* being broken-hearted. Even if -- hell, especially if -- he's a soullessly Mametian stockbroker by day. Sounds to me like the heartbreak is an excuse to get creative; under all the expressive prose is a novel waiting to get out.

So will you please tell him to sit down and write it, already? Then he can have relationships that are relationships, rather than causes for Epic Suffering.

Second comment is for Scone Boy. Of course she kissed you. She's getting married -- a pretty permanent life choice -- and she's entering the academic job market, both of which rank right up there on the Personal Terror Scale. In fact, given that she's sending out applications, she's probably also finishing the thesis (*Psycho* shower-scene music) and contemplating her upcoming defense (reprise *Psycho* shower-scene music). She's doubtless spending all her free time (thirty-six seconds a day) obsessing over whether or not she's making the right choice(s), and a kiss from a good friend (who's probably also a cute guy) may have melted her circuits. But don't imagine she's in love with you unless she tells you this, unprompted by you. Or responds to a declaration of love by flushing her engagement ring, cancelling the wedding and running away with you to Malaysia.

May I (a fellow grad student, one year from submission, defense, and the shark pit that is interviews myself) respectfully submit that your obsession may be a pretty good refuge from the Hell That Is Grad School? I'd say the trick is to figure out whether you actually want to survive school -- with or without her -- rather than making her the reason that you do or don't. And that's it."

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