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Dear Breakup Girl,

I just finished reading your last column on post-breakup revenge. I had always thought that the phrase "living well is the best revenge" was just a big cliche. But, like all the best cliches, it really is the truth. When my boyfriend and I broke up, we agreed to "stay friends. However, his idea of being friends apparently meant never talking to each other again! After four months of phone silence and the occasional awkward meeting on the street (Him: "We should get together some time". Me: "OK, sure, give me a call." Him: [more phone silence]), I got a drunk phone call from him at 2 AM. He told me he was a jerk, yadda yadda yadda. Then he asked me what I was doing with my life. Well, there was a lot to share! I told him I'd gotten a cat, was taking ballet, found a great friend in my downstairs neighbor, loved my new job, had checked out some cool concerts...what was up with him? Not much, he said, but he had been to a new restaurant that was walking distance from my apartment -- I should check it out. Then I realized that he didn't know I'd moved to an extremely cool new apartment, so I filled him in on that change, too.

Breakup Girl, it warmed the cockles of my little heart to hear him say (with a peevish note in his voice), "So you got a cat, you moved, is there anything else I should know...you got married, you have a kid, maybe?" You see, when we were together he always criticized me for not being adventurous enough. Maybe I just didn't feel free to explore then. I had (of course) had the typical post-breakup fantasies of him seeing me with a fabulous new guy. But I had no idea how good it would feel when he saw me with the fabulous new me.

Love,
Living It

BG responds: Couldn't have said/lived it better myself.

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