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"I Cannot Tell a Lie ..."
(But Sometimes I Can Leave Stuff Out)
Dear Breakup Girl,
I can't figure out how to tell my boyfriend I want to break up without
hurting his feelings. He has really bad breath, aggravates me about if I like
him or not (which I did until he annoyed me with the question too much), and he
wears makeup to cover acne (he thinks I can't tell, I guess). What to do?
-- Darlene
Dear Darlene,
The lesson in your letter for all of us is that two things do not work: (1)
bugging someone about whether they like you or not, and (2) tinted Clearasil.
In fact, they both backfire.
But more to your point. IMPORTANT BREAKUP GIRL MAXIM: There is no such
thing as "breaking up with someone without hurting his/her
feelings." Are you kidding me? I mean, come on. Our pride gets
a little rug-burned even when people we don't like don't like us, never
mind the people we do like.
So tell him nicely but firmly that it's just not a happening thing any more.
Even if he presses for details -- which he will -- don't you dare mention the
breath. Or the makeup. Those are things that a well-intentioned close friend or
tactless aunt -- not an about-to-be-ex-girlfriend -- should let him in on. You
can't not hurt his feelings, but you can spare a few of them.
Love,
Breakup Girl
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