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December 29, 1997   CONTINUED e-mail e-mail to a friend in need

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Dear Breakup Girl,

I really like this guy and I've asked him out before but he never answered. Other people have told him that he should go out with me but he never gave them an answer either. I am the only one of his friends who received a large picture of him for Christmas; everyone else got wallet-size. I feel all special -- but I don't really know how he feels and I don't want to ask him out again because I don't want to lose him as a friend. Please help!

-- Nichole


Dear Nichole,

Breakup Girl is unfamiliar with -- but intrigued by -- this practice of giving photos of yourself as Christmas presents to people who are not your grandparents. I'll trust you when you say that it's possible to measure someone's feelings for you in terms of surface area. But since he has not leapt at several obvious chances to go out with you, Breakup Girl wonders, gently, if the thousand or so words that that picture is speaking might go something like, "I know you like me but I really just think of you as a friend. I feel bad about that -- and I do think you're special -- so I want to make it up to you and show you that by giving you a larger photo than everyone else." See? So let him know you appreciate the photograph (don't tell him it's under your pillow), and focus on the friendship. If something more is meant to develop, it will.

Love,
Breakup Girl

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