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Dear Breakup Girl,
Why are men such pigs?
-- Hotratz

Dear Hotratz,
Easy there. I think I know what you're saying, but I'm not sure it's what you mean. Pigs are, in fact, clean and fastidious. They are cute, pink, and smart; they can sniff out rare truffles under six inches of soil. I know -- and love -- lots of boys like that. (Unfortunately, they're going out with other people.) So there.
Love,
Breakup Girl

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