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Dear Breakup Girl,
There's this girl that I like, but the problem is, I don't know if she likes me. Well, actually, to be honest, she's suing me. But I'm convinced that she really really likes me. Also, what do I tell my wife?
-- Confused in Washington

Dear Confused in Washington,
Well, that's progress. Last time you wrote me, the problem was "She doesn't even know I exist."
Oh, and about your wife: she knows.
Love,
Breakup Girl

Note from Breakup Girl: I did in fact receive this letter from the email address president@whitehouse.gov. And also one from billg@microsoft.com.

If you are inspired to play similar funny pranks on, say, your ex ("Dear Terry, I thought I should let you know that due to an unfixable bug, all copies of Windows '98 will, at startup, automatically broadcast the message: "Terry was a fool to let Chris go." Just thought you should know. Sorry. All best, B. Gates."), click here.

But please don't send Breakup Girl any more letters like this. It's been done.

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