Dear Graphic,

You are a design whiz! I love what you did in your letter with invisible ink. One pass through BG's Between-The-Lines Reader, and a whole different letter emerges:

Dear Breakup Girl,

I'm maybe 100 pounds overweight, but I don't want to break up with my boyfriend even though he doesn't make me happy, because I fear no one else would ever want to go out with me.

--Graphic Girl

Honestly, Graphic, if I'd ever, oh, seen a movie, looked at one nanosecond of television or read any magazine other than Tropical Fish Hobbyist, I'd have the same fear. You're not alone.

And I'm telling you, you won't be.

At least, not for long. But the alone you'll feel, for a little while, after you break up with J.-- just thought I'd sneak that into a dependent clause so you wouldn't see it coming and stop reading! -- is nothing compared to the alone you'll feel tonight, tomorrow, and the next day if you stay with him. Like, the alone you feel now.

If I may use the word "alone" for a sixth, nay, seventh time, it is worse to feel alone when you are in a relationship than it is to feel alone when you're not in a relationship.

How do you feel alone? (Eighth!) Let me count the ways. You say he's "talking about" marriage. When? From the way you describe him, it sounds like "let's get married" is just about the only thing he says to you, ever -- and that's after you've made a plan to get together. You say you've given up everything for someone who shuts down. You say "everything is moving along in his eyes," but you know, everything looks like it's moving when you're "jumping around like a monkey." You say he's "such an awesome guy" -- and I am willing to believe you -- but you haven't given me a single reason why, in any color of ink.

Graphic, I think you think he's awesome because of his taste in women. Specifically, you. And I, too, think he made an excellent choice.

But if one guy loves you, why not another? Who said he was an exception, not the rule?

I would say this in 200-point font if it wouldn't mar Chris' graphic vision: Someone else will love you. Someone you don't have to Photoshop into someone he's not. Someone worth your time, someone who makes you feel good, someone who gives back, someone you love back -- someone with whom you will have an actual relationship, and a wonderful one. Someone who will make you smack yourself on the head and say, "Oh! This is what it's supposed to be like!"

I can't tell you exactly where to find him, but I can give you a hint, and I can tell you where to start. Drive to J.'s house one more time. Tell him there are many things about him you have loved, but that the relationship is no longer working for you. Tell him you are really, really sorry. Ask him if he has anything he would like to say to you. Listen to it. Let him know you heard it. Then tell him again that you're really really sorry. Then go.

Back home, listen to music you love. Let voice mail pick up. Design something really dark and angry; set it aside. Worry about the "horrible ex" stories J. might tell; realize that they can't possibly be worse than the "horrible boyfriend" stories you've already told.

Then look in the mirror. You may see some weight you want to lose. But you will have lost the weight you really needed to lose. And you may start to look better to yourself already. You will -- day by slow, slow day -- begin look like someone who did something she needed to, even though it wasn't easy. That mature, intelligent person you describe on paper -- you will begin to see her in the mirror.

When you're ready, think of the person whose friendship you could really use right now, and call or email. Say, "I know I neglected you, and I'm sorry. I'd really like to start fresh again, if you would."

You're right, Graphic. You already said it. No more leading someone else around by the wrist -- or, really, letting them lead you. Fire up the QuarkXpress and start designing your life.