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Predicament of the Week
In which Breakup Girl addresses the situation that has, this
week, brought her the most (a) amusement, (b) relief that it is happening to
someone else, and/or (c) proof that she could not possibly be making this stuff
up.
Dear Breakup Girl,
Hey, Breakup girl... I'm 14, so my immature little relationships probably seem
stupid to all you old dinosaurs (ha ha, kidding...). But I hope that you can
hear me and help me out.
I met Ryan online, and have talked to him online for about a year and on the
phone for phone for seven months. He is 16. Now let's back up to September 9,
1999 at about 10 PM. I was pretty depressed that day, feeling that I wasn't
good enough for anything or anybody. I turned to Ryan. I still have this conversation
on disk and printed out. I refer back to it every once in a while when I feel
the need to. He started asking about a country music star that I had this huuuge
crush on. I told him I had no chance. He replied, "Dreams are good to have."
I told him my dreams and thoughts were stupid. I told him everything about me
was just stupid. He said everything about me was awesome. He said that he cared
about me a lot more than he cared about a lot of people...and that he wanted
to meet me. I told him I wanted to meet him, too. Then he said, "I think
I'm falling in love with you." At first I was shocked and then I told him
that I loved him, and I meant it. After that, I was incredibly happy.
I was like, not depressed at all after that. It was just the most awesome feeling
ever.
After that conversation everything was such a rush. I really was in love. I
based a lot of my poems on how I felt (like this one):
I think I felt my stomach
fly up to my heart.
I feel like my whole world
is being torn apart.
I think if I talk right now
I'm surely going to cry.
I'm not sad or depressed so,
someone tell me why.
I shocked myself as the words came out,
not knowing what to expect.
I feel so confused and frustrated,
I feel like such a wreck.
I can't believe I said what I meant,
and I can't believe I meant it.
I almost want to close my eyes
and completely forget it.
I'm not sure if I'm happy I said it
or because I heard it back.
Everything was completely normal,
and now it's one big smack.
The only thing I know right now
is everything seems so new.
And it's all because of "I love you."
And, "I love you, too."
I wrote tons more. I had never been happier in my entire life. I fell in love
with his voice, too. He e-mailed me his pictures, and I instantaneously became
attracted to him. I sent him mine, and he told me he thought I was beautiful.
I started saving money to go to Pennsylvania to meet him. My mom agreed to go
with me. In one of my e-mails, I told him how I had saved almost six hundred
dollars.
MORE:
Ryan says: "I don't think you should come!"