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Predicament of the Week
In which Breakup Girl addresses the situation that has, this week, brought her the most (a) amusement, (b) relief that it is happening to someone else, and/or (c) proof that she could not possibly be making this stuff up.

Dear Breakup Girl,

Me and my friend say that we have boyfriends, but we just made them up to see if people believed us.

Now everyone thinks that they are real guys. There's this guy I like a whole lot, and he has a girlfriend; so I was wondering if these made-up boyfriends could spoil the chance of me and the guy I like getting together?

-- Ally

Dear Ally,

Well, the main thing that would spoil the chance of you and your crush getting together is...his girlfriend. Assuming she's real. Either way, if I were you, I'd get out of this pickle with a made-up breakup. (But don't be surprised if you find out that you actually kinda miss him.)

Love,
Breakup Girl

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Reading my ex's dissertation: can I defend it?