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Dear Breakup Girl,

Last Saturday, my boyfriend and I had a great time at the movies, came to his place, and had some wine for dinner -- a bottle that a guy friend of mine had given me. My boyfriend is really jealous of this guy. When we were done, my boyfriend announced that he would keep the empty bottle. I felt very uneasy giving him something that bothers him in the first place, so I said no. We stood in the kitchen holding the bottle between us for 15 minutes, arguing over who should keep it. It all ended with our challenging each other to break glasses (in a non-violent way) and my throwing the empty bottle into a dumpster and having him drive me home. Since then, we have been discussing this bottle incident.

I am bothered by the fact that he claimed something that was given to me without asking if I wanted to give it to him. He is bothered by the fact that I refused to let him have this bottle. Both of us are pretty upset that neither of us gave in. I am not the one who starts these discussions, but I always end up looking stupid trying to explain to him why such a stupid thing like this bottle was not going to stay at his place. Finally, yesterday I said: "You've gotten what you've asked for; our relationship is over." I love him dearly, but this bottle incident proved that he is not taking my wishes seriously and twists the whole story to make me look foolish. Did I do the right thing?

-- Bottled Up

Dear Bottled Up,

"Break glasses in a non-violent way?" What did you do, sing a high C? Frankly, "the bottle incident" was both a little scary and a lot silly. If I were you, I'd go ahead and trust that the voice you heard was the fat lady.

Love,

Breakup Girl

 
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